Seeing as it's been so long since my last post, I thought I'd get back into the habit of doing these by disagreeing with over a billion people.

I know I'll probably get lynched for saying it, but I really have no interest in the world cup at all, and just to reinforce this lack of respect, I refuse to capitalise either the words "world" or "cup". Whilst I have no problem with playing football myself, I can think of many things I would rather watch than someone else playing it. Such as paint drying. But seeing as I can't really think of what else to say about something I know nothing about. I'll try and move on to something else.


On a lighter note, my recent holiday to Italy does give me a little bit to talk about. Firstly, some fool decided that a good time for my Business Studies exam would be the last day of term, which of course was when this holiday was meant to start. So after rescheduling the bloody flight to accommodate the exam board, I arrived at Naples airport. Which was a bit of a dump. After the Italian car rental firm gave us a lovely Lancia Delta, to ensure that we would drive slowly presumably, I was somehow delegated the task of navigating. Which was a disaster. In jolly old England, if we want someone to be able to get to somewhere we put up a sign. It seems that this logic does not apply in Italy. All of the things that I assumed were road signs were actually adverts for nearby shops and facilities. If you did manage to find a sign that pointed to a place, as opposed to a business, they give no indication of how far away it is. Sorrento (where we were staying) is about 50 miles south of Naples and was supposed to take us about an hour to get there. After 3 hours of driving we were about 20 miles north of Naples, in some place. To this day I no idea what it was called. Oh, and Italians are as crazy drivers as people think, if you slow down for as much as half a second to read one of their stupid bloody signs, you are immediately overtaken by lots of angry Italian gangsters, who indicate their displeasure through the medium of the car horn.


Well, if you've been patient enough to read all of this, I might as well try and stick to my one blog post per week target.
Although as you probably gathered from reading this- that might not be a good thing

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Well, my next blog post was going to be an epic tale of me annoy some noob on nonoba. Unfortunately, some consciousness mod has banned her...

Well I'm happy about that, but I'll have to think up another blog post now :(

Oh, and don't worry, I'm not trying to pass this off as one of my weekly blogs, seeing as I stick so rigidly to that :S

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Well, turns out I have to write SOMETHING, even if it will and up as a pile of crap...

Nothing's happened to me in weeks. Nothing's made me laugh in weeks. No inspiration for writing anything half-way readable has come into my head. I guess I'll just wine about random things:


Firstly, my school, if you want money:

Let us do non-uniform-fund-raising days again.

You think they make us hyperactive and unproductive, yet you expect us to donate money to you out of the goodness of our hearts. Well here are a few tips for you:

1. Headteacher: Sell your Land Rover

2. Headteacher: Sell your Jaguar

3. The Network Manager: Sell your Apple tablet, Mac, and plasma TVs (all of which you will find in your damn office)


All the people who run my school seem to be loaded, yet it's us (broke) kids that are asked to donate money, whatever luxury items there are left for you all to sell it on.


Secondly, those bloody energy saving lightbulbs, they may use less energy:

That is because they give off less light.

Well done whichever Einstein thought of that...

Finally, on a similar subject:

Filling 1/3 of a packet of crisps does not entitle you to put " 30% less fat" on the front.


Well there you go, next time I'll wait for inspiration before soiling your eyes.

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Really, in England manners seem to mean nothing. In the North, where I live, if you want something from another guy, you just seem to add "mate" on to the end of it. For goodness sake, it's like communicating with someone who has no grasp of the language that you happen to be speaking: Speaking louder and slower does not create an instant epiphany of understanding.

So why does being patronising help in this situation?

I understand greeting someone with a healthy dose of verbal abuse isn't manners either, but what ever happen to good old please?

Which leads me onto the age old saying:
"Treat others as you would wish to be treated."

This is fair enough I suppose, but is obviously irrelevant in certain situations, such as a Police Officer catching a murderer; you clearly would not like to be caught, whereas the officer would.

Therefore, if everyone was polite to each other, this would avoid murderers murdering, and mean that the Police can concentrate on other important things... Like cyclists jumping the lights and other horrible crimes...

To conclude: be polite and don't murder anyone...

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So there I am, eating some trifle, minding my own business, when a police helicopter takes it upon itself to fly over my house, and hover over my back garden. SHIT I think, what's gone wrong now. Turns out they were actually catching a criminal. I say this because in the sleepy little village where I live, all the police have time to do, is pull over cyclists who jump the lights.
This is why I was surprised to see a helicopter hovering over the field next to my house, 3 police dogs (with handlers), 4 baton-wielding bobbies and ONE HELL OF A LOT OF NOISE.

I spent the next 20 minutes staring out of my window, wondering why all of this had to happen 10 yard from my kitchen table. I doubt they caught the bugger, so as I'm writing this he's probably watching me from my wheelie bin with a knife in is hand, and a smile of satisfaction, knowing the police has just spent half a million quid trying to find him.

I then got back to my trifle, only to find that it had warmed up to room temperature and was disgusting.


In future, the police can conduct law and order in their own back gardens.

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Well, there I am, sitting with a huge mound of GCSE course work to do, and I somehow find the time to make this:


Turns out Tux-Devil-Wrestlers are all the range!

Well, I've managed to spend 30mins not writing essays by doing this, so I'd better do something more productive if I want to see any letter other than D printed on my work...

See you all later ;)

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Well, to be honest, I can be quite an angry person. Most of the time I'm so annoyed at EVERYTHING that I just go all ADHD... I'll try and keep you all amused with my rantings every so often, but for now, I'm keeping calm at the world.

Soon as anything happens, I'll let you all know about it

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